Right up there with the rest of the #firstworldproblems out there is that I have a slight handicap when it comes to pronunciation.
I cannot, for the life of me, pronounce the word “groin.”
Blame it on the South. Call me ignorant. Whatever. I still can’t say it.
“Mom, it rhymes with ‘coin!’” My kids tell me.
Still, it comes out like this: “growin.”
Here’s why: I grew up hearing it pronounced that way, and I cannot re-learn it the proper way. I successfully learned that water is not pronounced “werter,” but I cannot, for the life of me, figure groin out.
Consequently, I don’t say it at all.
But here is the thing. I have to go to a sports massage next week, and I need to be able to tell the dude that my “groin” is tight.
(In the meantime, I have been doing these stretches, which helps a ton.)
What should do? Write the word down on a piece of paper?
Here, Mr. Masseuse, is a note from my husband.
How does this stuff happen? How can a grown lady who worked in broadcast journalism not know how to pronounce a basic word?
I mean, seriously, even Eleanor Beardsley can throw down a mean French accent on NPR, but still you can hear her Southern draw. (She is also from South Carolina.) She cannot escape it.
And neither can I.
So I think I’ll just tell the guy that my inner thigh is really tight.
And then if he says,”Your groin area?”
I will simply say, “yes.”