It’s really very important to be warm

by Rebecca on May 1, 2013

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I had to rush through my run, drills and strength work today to get over to the middle school for a twice-yearly event called “lunch on the lawn.”  They invite the parents to “picnic” with their student while conversing awkwardly with other parents.

Translation:  you scramble around for lunch items that won’t make your kid sigh in disgust upon your arrival, and then you struggle to move your work schedule so that you won’t be late;  finally you get there, only to settle in behind your kid to eat whatever you might have packed for yourself whilst they converse with their friends and basically ignore you.

It’s loads of fun.

I told MFP he had to go with me and brought him up to speed on how things would go, to which he replied, “it doesn’t really sound like we need to be there for that.”

“Oh, no, you are so wrong.  We must be there!  Being there to be ignored is very important in the development of your teenage son.”

The reading I have been doing lately confirms it.

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(I am reading the Jenny Lawson book also, which is basically just full of laughs.)

My new favorite magazine is The Atlantic.  After only having the subscription for a few weeks, I have learned tons of useful tidbits already.

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Like that a Harvard study on what makes people thrive found that “the warmth of the relationship with Mommy matters long into adulthood.”

  • Men who had “warm” childhood relationships with their mothers earned $87,000 more a year than men whose mothers were uncaring.
  • Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with their mothers—but not with their fathers—were associated with effectiveness at work. (source)

So you see lunch on the lawn is an investment.  All of the stuff we do to be “caring” is as well.  So we have to be warm, even when their backs are to us.

When I am not being warm and fuzzy with my boys, I am trying to blow off steam out on the road, which is becoming easier to do now that I am no longer on the injured list.

To do this, I have gone back to basics.  Meaning I have gone back to a simple, basic, neutrally cushioned running shoe that I got for a steal since the new version is coming out soon.

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(Nike Air Pegasus 29)

At first I thought it might be best to go back to minimalist shoes, but then I decided against it.  I love Kinvara’s and PureFlow’s and the like, but they don’t stop me from having bad form.  This is something I must fix on my own. 

In addition, I had my gait analyzed and found that I only land on the outer part of my foot, so I need a little extra cushioning since my foot stays rather rigid upon toe-off.

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I am keeping a hawk’s eye on where I am wearing the shoes out because I noticed that my right shoe in my older pair are worn at the heel (but not the left!)  Since my right leg is the one that was achy for a few weeks, I am trying my best to maintain proper form on my runs.

So far I haven’t worn the heel at all, which is good news.

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And as far as my old shoes go, I have been a shipping fool, selling each pair one by one.

Not only am I freeing up space in my closet, but I am also increasing the size of my bank account to pay for things like birthday cakes and other items that make my kids feel really warm.

I might even go buy some extra blankets.  And some heaters.

This way when they look back on their childhoods, they can think, “when I think of mom I really think of being warm…”

And I will then say, “And yes you can thank me for that salary that you’re making there buddy…and for sitting in the hot sun eating a burrito while you ignored me…”

And then they will thank me and say, “I can’t talk now.  I have an important meeting to go to…”

And I will say, “Yes, I know you do.  You can thank me for that too…”

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Carilyn Johnson (@CarilynJohnson) May 3, 2013 at 8:46 am

I’m always trying to hug my teenagers – which they hate – and telling them, “Studies show that kids who get hugged a lot are much happier.” They, of course, don’t buy this for a minute and try to get out the door as quickly as possible.

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