Before we get to the fact that running sucks, I have something to share with you. A miracle happened yesterday. MFP SAT DOWN AND READ A MAGAZINE! Just so you understand how miraculous it really is, I have never witnessed this. Ever. And I’ve known him since I was 16.
I really could not believe it. Even Oldest walked into the room and said, “something just doesn’t feel right.”
This, however, was not a miracle. Charlie will sleep anywhere. Even on newspapers.
The boys had their cross country meets yesterday, and as I reviewed the pictures later on in the day, I noticed something. They look miserable. But they get excited to do this thing that sucks. It’s hard to explain.
This morning, as I was running back to my car from my cool down, I noticed something else.
Normal people go to brunch on Sunday mornings instead of running a 5K on the hottest day of the year in Santa Monica. They dress up, they put on makeup, they converse. They eat. They relax.
It looks amazing.
Did you know that running sucks?
This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn and drove down to the beach to race what I thought would be the easiest 5K of my life. However, doubts crept in yesterday when I heard people talking about “the incline.”
I was like, dude I am going down to zero elevation. What the heck are you talking about? An incline?
So I get there, and I start doing a long warm-up, since I wanted to make the day a normal mileage day instead of just a race day.
And already I could tell that it was unusually hot.
Also as I jogged along the beach path, a homeless man was shouting, “you guys are idiots! You are paying to run! How stupid is that?”
(He has a point.)
We lined up around 8 a.m., but then the race was delayed.
After what seemed like an eternity, we began to run.
And it sucked. My heart and my lungs wanted to go fast, but my legs were too trashed. This whole not-tapering thing is for the birds.
By the first mile marker I knew it was not my day. And even though I wanted to stop, I pressed on; because even though it sucked, I kind of liked it.
So there is that. Running sucks. But I like it. It makes no sense at all. Especially when everyone else is eating brunch with their hairs all in place.
And wouldn’t you know it? It was actually hotter at the beach than it was at home.
And so it goes.
Anyway, I still managed to come in 2nd in my age group in a fairly big race, so I can’t really complain. My clock time was 22 flat. Not a PR, of course. And actually it was only 20 seconds per mile slower than my half marathon pace, so that is seriously messed up.
But, if I look at the bigger picture, the marathon picture, then I guess this was just a bit faster than tempo pace, so I actually ran the race the way that I had planned to.
In other words, I couldn’t have run a step faster if I had wanted to, but I am just going to call it a “workout” so that I don’t get depressed about it.
And to that end, I ran a nice, long cool down afterwards, which was not cool because it was hot.
So if the intention was to run fast and hurt, and to remind myself of how much running absolutely sucks, then this race was wildly successful.
In conclusion, I think I’ll stick with marathon training. If anything, it sucks a little less.
And then when I’m all done with marathons, I think I’ll turn into a normal person and just go to brunch instead.
*Disclaimer: I hate the word “sucks” and do not allow my boys to say it. I just needed to make a point today. Thanks for understanding.